It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
