fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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