Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
