sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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