The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
