its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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