that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
