he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
