Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
