How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
