sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
