I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
