Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
