Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
