TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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