Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
