"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
