you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
