the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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