did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
