Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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