my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
