if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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