Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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