i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
