OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
