atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
