he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I had to cum in my sink.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
