im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
