somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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