i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
