She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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