That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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