Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am available for nakedness
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
