Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
