I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
