so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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