Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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