i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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