Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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