How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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