just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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