Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
