I feel like I'm in dance class right now
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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