Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
