The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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