it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
