I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
