sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
