im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
