I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She bit a glass in half.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
