Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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